Life.

It have been a while since I post anything in this blog. Life, has treated me with many obstacles and opportunities. I had whine, laughed, cried, depressed, ran, moved and breathed. Many things going on, many writers block, many ideas and many deceptions. But this is why life is about, right? I can't complain about motherhood--it's the best thing that happened to me--my beautiful son Mikhael. Being a mother it's a renew stage in my life. I hope to every person that is out there to not miss out this great life-changing opportunity.
I wake up every single day seeing my son smile, alive, healthy and it's the highlight of my day.
Between motherhood and chores, at last I graduated from my bachelor's degree. Now, I'm an agent of change without a job. Yeah, another one to comply with the percentages of being unemployed.
This is frustration, after so many years of giving my best, filling myself with ideals and dreams--outside of the box there is nothing. Nothing after this and believe me it's a great shock! I been doing "inside searching": what do we really need in life? why do we comply with the rules of society? We study, we educate ourselves beyond our efforts getting loans, living the college life, meeting new people, trashing old acquaintances--for what?  All that process to get where I am right now? Jobless, aching for change or a shot outside my house.
These are false expectations that university sell to us. After all getting a bachelor's degree is like having a high school diploma and if you decide on giving the extra mile by getting master's degree or even a doctorate on the run degree--it's fooling ourselves because you are too highly qualified for the job. Jobless, I tell you.

So what to expect afterwards? There is no great party after we graduate, we just be another civilian in this automated society. My advice keep exploring the possibilities and let it come to you--THAT'S what I'm doing. So far, I keep being mother on duty and that's the job that I must excel in my life.

Poem: Reveal to Me

Show me again
what we missed.
The strings strumming away
music dance around us before
music made us love
words-endless words-
bind us together
but they are not strong anymore
the carcass of routine
shoved us away from love
and the only thing in common
with golden threads
anchored forever in my heart.
no replacements,
no risky decisions to be made
just chances spoiled by time
and my heart faint by your side.

Poem: Remembered

I remembered your skin
soft and pale like the moon
I remembered touching it
carved skin with my fingertips
mere souls
attached to their love
-once a love-
this memory started to fade
a past, a burden
a pain
a faded love with lips so dry
like an autumn leave carried away by the wind
it's just a memory
I just remembered
how it used to be
but I realized how it will never be.

Poem: No voice

I had fail
to see what is like in the light.
My eyes only see
what is left of my shine,
my tiny spark.
It never ceased in my mind
wondering how I might be
if I had taken a different path.
Where it would be my tiny spark?
Where would it be the vision
I nurtured and protected
yet is secluded in the back of my mind.
Everything seems to fade,
everything was lost in the wind.
No words, no thoughts,
no poetry inside of me.
No faint idea
of what I used to be.
I have no voice,
not even a whisper in myself.
Here I am in agony.
Here I was when the light used to be my charm.

Poem: In between...

Dashed are my feelings,
craving for more non-existing...
for how long, for how far
will we go?
my soul is attached, unnerved and trapped
in this aging body that is corrupted by thoughts
-thoughts of you-
my loyalty breaks
like dawn through the rough nite...
my whisper is not heard
only by my conscience unabide
forgive me, it took me so long to realize
that how long, for how far
I will go until I fall apart, again.
Patience is broken,
my body is failing
in this coarse and blasphemus era...
cannot wait till its over
when its over
my body will succumb
my death will embrace me
in my eternal sleep, i will be free...

Poem: While I'm sleeping the baby...

GO ahead,
make yourself comfortable,
I will be laying in the bed
have better reasons to stay,
DON'T worry about me,
I will be fine with the baby...
Sing along with your new toys,
drop you attention and distractions logged on,
while I am sleeping the baby...
THE day went ahead of me,
driving, cleaning, cooking, studying, working, feeding, changing,
breastfeeding, fantasizing....
but its just for me,
I claim but I am not there
when you are
everything is too tiring...
GETTING to know the hours closely
hoping for this hour to come,
but its just me
the one with anxieties
while I am sleeping the baby
I can hear your muffled laughter
your strings, and keys making any rhythim of your liking
away from this room.
Taking the space, slowly resting in the same chair
carelessly of what done or undone
I can be...
DON'T worry...
If my voice is to low for you to hear me
while I am sleeping the baby.

Poema: Criatura

Bello e incomparable con el universo,
único ni las estrellas resplandecen tanto como tu...
tu brillo sin igual, tu magia al sonreír,
nuestro amor es único y no hay sendero que separe
nuestro amor, ni río que disperse nuestras carnes
porque tu y yo tenemos mucho mas que eso,
la vida y la gracia de Dios
nos une por siempre
cruzando las galaxias y de las demás dimensiones
tu, criatura mía, tu
nadie podrá explicarte mi amor, mi sacrificio, mi admiración...
los ángeles te protegerán siempre
pero mi abrigo es el que siempre haz de buscar
porque soy tu madre,
soy tu guarda incondicional...
tu sufrir sera mi sufrir
tus alegrías serán mías...y que mas puedo pedirle a Dios
con que fueras carne de mi carne
que regalo mas honrado y noble me dio!
criatura de mi alma,
criatura de mi ser,
toma siempre la luz y la inocencia que Dios te dio.
Se sensato contigo mismo
se humilde con todos
se amigo y hermano
se un mejor humano...
yo siempre divisare de lejos o cerca
como tu quieras, criatura mía...
mi amor por ti jamás morirá.


nota: todavía le falta unos acentos es que aun no se como ponerlos con la nueva pc.

Celtic Woman: The Voice by Lisa Kelly

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